I bought some fish. And i wanted to call you instinctively. But i suddenly remember you are not around. I need to remind myself several times a day that death is irreversible. Rong's busy at sch again. Bro's back in camp again. It's just me. n Dad. Who isn't really dealing very well. He mopes around the house and takes 1 hr baths. Sometimes i see flashes of the ICU and the cremation, and i get scared again. But I have no one to turn to. I'm rather sick of ppl's condolences. I don't know how to talk to anyone about it. And i can't talk to Dad or Rong or Bro. Because i don't want to make them sad. So i talk to my fish. Some of whom die. Fish die easily. They make the concept of death a joke.